At Peace

Today is only the beginning, it is not the end.

Do you know what the nicest feeling on earth is?

PEACE!

When every bone in your body finally relaxes and you aren't stressing out as much as normal (well, i suppose i stress out a LOT more than other people). So really, this is a very rare occasion. I officially now love pilates. They relaxed me. 

I've been working every night for the past 3 nights (so long right) on my abs and legs, lame i know, but i plan on  restarting my life as i sad. i wanna lose 10-20 pounds (i already lost some but it'd be nice to lose more), get a new haircut, figure out makeup, find good face washing stuff (just bought some testing it out toniight), figure out my friends, forget about him, and just feel changed. i don't wanna change my personality too much, i like some of it, but things like jealousy, anger, stressing out, and my obsessiveness with perfection need to be fixed. i also wish i was less of a goody goody and took some risks in life. i need someone to show me that..

Okay now i need to just stop with thinking about him. i mean, i will find someone at one point, but i don't need to now: i'm 14. that's it. hm. i still feel so relaxed. all these thoughts are just floating around in my head. i can't exactly grab ahold of one right now, but its like a slideshow in my mind, except not of just pictures, but words too. and i'm just trying to push that all to the back of my mind. stop stressing out about everything and just live life. let it do its course. there's no need to force things to happen. everything happens for a reason, just give it small pushes.

i wish a girl's life was less stressful. why do we have to worry about every little thing. especially guys. WHY do they take over our lives? i mean can't we be the ones who torture THEM for once. i mean do they ever feel this way too... i hope so. 

well, i'm gonna go back to my journal and music. my two favorite things in the world at the moment