I can't wait to start over. I can't wait to just leave all my past drama behind me. I'm gonna focus on my friends and family and electives. I mean, I would love to find my "perfect guy", but I'm only 14, so I can't really expect that to happen so soon! I need to forget this year. Forget the signs. Forget the butterflies. Forget everything that had to do with him. It just ended in heartbreak that I had never felt before, and I'm not excited to ever feel again. So, once I FIRST decided to get over him (about a month ago... haaa that worked out well -__-) I spent a long time of moping around and well crying a lot and venting to my journal. It was horrible. I felt like everything had shattered. My stomach was in my feet and all I could do was think about HIM. God, why did I care so much about such an ass.
Its stupid what guys do to you. Do THEY feel the pain we do? Do THEY really care about us at all? Sometimes I feel like the life of a guy would be so much more well... simpler! Less catty drama and less love problems. It seems easier for guys to get girls than for girls to get guys. I don't know why it is that way.. but it is
I guess I should explain my last year of junior high a bit more. If I know you, this is kinda embarrassing and I guess you are gonna get some information on my life. More than you probably wanted to know haha sorry. Well, school was school. I learned crap. Got my good grades (I am a perfectionist and will flip out if I get a B... yeah I know I'm a nerd. I hate it!), did the school musical (theatre nerd too, that's where the drama began), and had many friend problems (who doesn't in jr high). So yeah play is where I got to know him.... sadly .... wish I didn't. Its also where all the friend problems began! God who hates who now, who's mad at who, blah blah blah. I made the worst decisions in friends this year. Two were complete bitches. I realized that once I saw myself becoming the bitch that I would've hated when I was younger. So I decided to stop hanging out with them and surround myself with kind people who care about me, would never hurt me, and would help me in turn be a better person.
Things are finally lightening up. I finally see the bright side of things. I haven't seen HIM all summer (thank god) and I've made the best friends I have ever had (and also getting together with old ones who I never should've stopped being friends with). Its nice.... I'm pretty happy.....
almost
"today is only the beginning, it is not the end"
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