I'm realizing something right now... I'm not really sure if I've been my real true self... I don't even know exactly who I am at the moment. I mean I thought I was Holly, the crazy outgoing weird girl who doesn't give a crap about what other people think... but I'm starting to think that that isn't really me... I mean sure I can be weird at times, but I generally can be really serious sadly... and I'm lying when I say I don't care what other people think of me, because really I freak out about what they really think about me. I care way too much. And I'm only outgoing with girls my age. When I'm around guys, I get shy and reserved because I feel ugly and awkward. I can't usually talk to most guys. And around older people, I am as quiet as a mouse until I get to know them a little bit.
So, I'm still trying to figure out who exactly I am. I act differently around different people and I'm getting confused on which exactly is the real me... I'm getting scared of what my friends think of me. I can't afford to lose anymore :( I just need help. I don't know what to do anymore...
And there's other stuff too.. but nevermind.
holly you are the real you when u are with people who you know will love you for who you are no matter what. People who you don't have to sheild anything from because your afraid of what they might say or that you'll lose them. No one can be the real them all the time. You just gotta stick with the people you CAN be yourself around. :)
ReplyDeleteand if it makes you feel better i have honestly have never heard one bad rumor about you ever.
but i dunno if crazy me is really me!!! i dunno... im still confused. oh well
ReplyDeletewell thats nice to hear but ive heard stuff... i dunno who cares though...
oh well no one ever tells me bad stuff unless it's about ...well lulu. :) or like other people in my dance class..... people don't really tell me stuff unless its about them... hmm who'dve thunk that people are starting to keep other peoples secrets finally? :D
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